Các chuyên gia tâm lý học tích cực không làm theo lời khuyên của chính họ. Những gì họ thực sự làm có thể là chìa khóa dẫn đến hạnh phúc

Positive psychology forms the backbone of wellbeing programmes around the world. Many people aiming to improve their mental health and live a good life are told to follow a programme of activities that focus on making an intentional effort to improve their wellbeing.

But recent research I conducted with colleagues shows that while wellbeing experts often recommend these activities to others, in real life they rarely practice them themselves. This discrepancy may tell us something important about what truly sustains wellbeing over time.

I interviewed 22 experts and practitioners in positive psychology – some with more than a decade of experience. All of them regularly recommended wellbeing activities to clients, friends and family members and told me they would tailor each activity according to an individual’s needs.

But when I asked them about their own application of positive psychology practices, it became apparent that they didn’t engage in these activities regularly. They only tended to use them during difficult periods, when they felt a need for a wellbeing boost.

Positive psychology programmes often recommend patients activities like “gratitude journaling” (writing down the things one is grateful for) daily, or undertaking three acts of kindness each week. The key emphasis with these programmes is to make an intentional, concerted effort to be more positive.

But our study showed that experts don’t use wellbeing the way many positive psychology programmes teach it. Instead of following a schedule of activities, their wellbeing came from having a flexible, wellbeing-oriented mindset, which we termed a “meliotropic wellbeing mindset”.

The term is derived from the Latin “melior” (better) and Greek “tropism” (movement towards) . It’s about moving toward what makes life worth living. This way of thinking meant that experts didn’t treat wellbeing as a set of tasks they needed to complete – but rather merely as part of everyday life.

It also meant that none of the experts actively “chased” happiness or positivity. When they had a bad day, they just let it be – accepting that life sometimes comes with difficulty.

Our participants did not make the kind of drastic, intentional changes in their lives that they’d recommend patients make to improve wellbeing. They already regularly did things in their day to day that made their lives feel more meaningful – for example making time to read a book daily, volunteering for a local charity, cooking a favourite meal or even practising yoga.

While these kinds of activities may be recommended as part of a positive psychology programme, the difference here is that the experts did these activities because they were part of their identity or because it helped them feel balanced, instead of only doing them because they’d been advised to.

They were also in tune with their bodies, caring for them as attentively as they cared for their minds by prioritising sleep, nourishing food and regular movement.

And because they were highly attuned to how their physical and social environment affected them, they weren’t afraid to take proactive steps to protect their wellbeing. For instance, if their work made them unhappy, or if someone in their social circle was consistently draining, they didn’t hesitate to seek alternatives or to limit contact.

In addition, they were open to opportunities that allowed them to embrace life. One participant described waiting outside the school to pick up her child. The weather was so beautiful that she slipped off her shoes and walked barefoot across a patch of grass – a simple act that boosted her mood.

Another one had a really bad day but when she finally got into bed that night, she was struck by a feeling of gratitude for the warmth and safety of her home, compared to all the people who have been displaced by war.

Their understanding of positive psychology helped them notice these regular opportunities to boost wellbeing.

Mindset change

Every year, new wellbeing apps appear, schools incorporate wellbeing into their curricula and organisations invest heavily in workplace wellbeing programmes. Yet the impact of these initiatives remains modest. And, some reports suggest that wellbeing programmes may even have a negative effect.

Our study’s findings may help explain why the impact of these programmes is so varied – and shows these positive activities may not be as effective for people who have applied wellbeing practices extensively in their lives.

The study also highlights an urgent need for positive psychology researchers and experts to rethink their priorities. Rather than creating ever–longer wellbeing programmes or promoting the pursuit of happiness, which evidence shows is not necessarily beneficial, we should focus on understanding the longer–term impact of wellbeing practices.

For anyone trying to improve their wellbeing, our findings are an important reminder that you don’t have to constantly “work on yourself” or pursue happiness. Experts in wellbeing rarely rely on dramatic life changes or wellbeing programmes.

Instead, they quietly cultivate a mindset that helps orient themselves toward what really matters. It’s not about chasing happiness or forcing ourselves to think positively on a bad day. It’s about gently moving toward the things that make life feel more worthwhile, in ways that fit who you are. That shift in mindset is something that all of us can adopt.

Jolanta Burke does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.